hope everyone in utah enjoys today! and remembers why we celebrate our pioneer heritage. pioneer day is a bit closer to my heart this year (here's why). so grateful for their faith, courage, strength, and willingness to be the first.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
our story
photo by my talented friend, kara simmons
2 months before gordon and i got married i found out that i would not be able to bare children of my own. knowing this might be the case my whole life, i took this news much better than i thought i would (no matter how healthy i am, i still only have one lung and that would create a high pregnancy risk with outcomes that were far from ideal...either me or my future baby or both us would not live). don't get me wrong, it was very difficult news to hear, especially while hearing it for the first time in a room with my future husband. i will never forget the look on gordon's face when i told him i would understand if he didn't want to marry me anymore. without hesitation, he said that he loved me and that never even crossed his mind. he knew we would have a family together someday. and we both decided we would adopt.
fast forward three years later in the salt lake city temple. we were waiting to attend a session with his cousin taking out his endowments in preparation for his mission. in the waiting room, through the doors, i saw two temple workers holding two children dressed in white. about to be sealed for time and all eternity to their parents. my heart swelled. i began to cry. i felt a nudge to begin preparation to start my family. i told gordon about it. he said he had been having these same feelings too.
we continued on. these feelings continued to come. and they continued to get stronger.
and so we made the call to an adoption agency january of this year. and after a meeting with our case-worker the end of february, fillings out lots papers, attending adoption education classes, and a home-study, we have been approved and are now in the stage of finding our baby!
p.s. we'd love for you to help us find our baby...
so spread the great news that we're adopting!
if you would like, please add our button to your blog (on the right)
if you have any questions on how to do this please feel free to email me:
if you have any questions on how to do this please feel free to email me:
jesshardcastle (at) gmail (dot) com
p.p.s. sorry for any confusion or extra excitement caused from my previous post.
and thanks for all your sweet comments, texts, etc!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
conversations with the mister
(lately, i've been a little obsessed with refrigerator oatmeal...which is what sparked this convo)
me: so, is it good? (i ask him this every morning...want to make sure he's happy and doesn't feel forced to eat it if it's not good)
him: yes.... are these healthy for you?
me: yes! and don't they make you fuller longer?
him: yessum. i only have to go to carl's jr. once before lunch.
we celebrate dog birthdays at our house
abbi turned seven yesterday.
she doesn't look a day over puppy does she? lucky girl.
we celebrated with a family walk (we do this everyday, but we told her this walk was a special birthday walk...she totally understands), followed by birthday cake (the safe for dogs made by a fancy dog treat maker at the farmers market kind of cake, of course).
yay for dog birthdays!
Monday, July 16, 2012
over the weekend
we started the weekend off by seeing one of the sweetest movies i have seen in a very long time, Moonrise Kingdom, followed by dinner at one of our favorite thai restaurants, eastside diner
that next morning was ogden's farmers market. oh, how i anticipate farmers market season every year! my sister joined me. the two of us always have a great time. so many new vendors, and our favorites are back as well (limeades...the best part of the farmers market).
while i was enjoying the farmers market, my talented husband was using his self-taught mechanic skills to change out the brakes on my car (he's amazing...i've said that before right). he then had some fun of his own and went kayaking with his brother.
feeling adventurous, i cooked a new vegetable (obtained at the farmers market) as a side for dinner that night. swiss chard. cooked in butter with onions and garlic. not bad. we'll eat it again (its health benefits are incredible!)
i was in the cooking mood and also made copy-cat levain bakery peanut butter dark chocolate cookies. they were good. and hit my cookie craving spot. but i realized that no common person can recreate the real levain cookies.
later that night, while gordon was putting the finished touches on his church talk, i watched a movie on my new ipad (that husband of mine spoils me rotten).
i was so excited for church sunday. i love listening to gordon speak. he's a natural. i have to have everything written out. he has bullet points to help him stay on track. his talks are always great. he's such a great example to me.
gordon's family had a belated birthday celebration for me. they are so good to me...i love them so much! mel made me a fancy angel food cake. the little man helped me blow out my candles (best birthday cake candle blower outer helper ever!). we had a great sunday evening hanging out with gordon's family. those little ones make sundays that much better.
hope you all had a great weekend too!
Friday, July 13, 2012
the three days when we had ten kids
gordon and i were asked the end of last year if we would be 'ma and pa' of a family for a pioneer trek our church does. we said yes, and quickly wished inspiration would skip us for the next little while.
the next several months we didn't really think much about going. and when we did, neither of us were excited.
gordon had back surgery and we thought this might be our way out. however, gordon was blessed and he healed so quickly that we searched for another way out, unsuccessfully.
our trek dates were july 5, 6, 7... ruining our fourth of july holiday.
negative thoughts were all i could think when i thought about trek. i was just barely old enough that when they started doing them i was out of the youth program. gordon went when he was a youth (yes he's a bit younger than me...). his experience included his parents dying putting him in charge of his family who all left him to pull the handcart alone, so he ditch the handcart (making sure to take his own stuff), and trekked the rest of the way with other families. he doesn't remember having a good time and wasn't too excited to do it all again.
about a week or so before i started preparing the "spiritual stuff" for our trek family.
it all hit me. this was a big deal. and i needed to change my attitude.
i still wasn't extremely thrilled about going, but the more research i did about pioneers, the more i looked forward to dressing up in pioneerish clothes and experiencing a fraction of what they did.
trek was unforgettable. now when i think about trek all my thoughts are positive.
our kids...amazing. unbelievable. strong (both physically and spiritually). did not complain. helped always. and have testimonies of our church that would strengthen the world.
the youth of today are meant to be here at this time. i know this is true. they are strong, unwavering, and smart. they know who they are. they know what they need to do. they are leaders.
now, for some trek stories!
day one: our kids wanted to run with the handcarts. it was like they wanted to see how fast they could get to camp. we pulled/pushed a handcart loaded with 15 buckets (all of our belongs for the next few days), one large food cooler, and two large water coolers trekked 7 miles in less than 4 hours. the rain only made us go faster and pull harder. when we reached camp (a few hours before we were due to arrive), most of the tents were set up (spoiled, i know) and dinner was cooking (at 2 in the afternoon!). we ate before 4pm, then had a lot of time on our hands. the rain decided to cease and the sun started shining. we dried out the best we could and put on our dancing shoes (not literally...we only had a bucket for all of our stuff!). gordon and i did not dance. gordon doesn't dance (we've danced one time together at my friend's wedding). when asked why weren't dancing, gordon said he only dances naked (as told to say by our bishop!). after dancing we had "family time". we played pioneer games, and few more modern ones (like ninja...yeah i hadn't heard of it either, but it was fun!). after games gordon told our family about his great great great great grandpa, john rowe moyle, we bore our testimony, had family prayer, then told the kids to go to bed. it was still light outside (arriving to camp early really threw us off). gordon and i were tired, but were pretty sure our kids stayed up late.
day two: live trumpet music woke us up this morning. first thing we saw when we popped our heads out of our tent: FOG! i was a bit discouraged at the idea of bad weather presenting itself again. and the mystery meat in the breakfast burritos didn't help my mood (lucky for me, our old bishop was the main chef and made sure there were meatless alternatives for me...score!). but once we started trekking, my mood changed. i realized i was the example and if i wasn't excited to push our handcart, our kids will see that and they won't be excited. today was our longest trek day, with us pushing for 11 miles. the terrain was a bit more hilly than the day before. and once the sun came out, it was hot! we had lots of breaks where we were told to stay hydrated and eat snacks. all of our kids stayed hydrated, and no one ever went hungry. the last mile of today was the women's pull (maybe this is why i was in a bad mood. i had heard stories of how hard that was and was not looking forward to it). at the bottom of the largest, steepest hill was when the men left us and we had to pull our handcarts with just women in our families. i had anticipated this event since we were asked to go on trek. i knew it was going to be hard. and then once on trek and seeing how difficult pulling our handcart was (and we had 10 people pulling constantly!) i was even more nervous for this to go down. we had a women's devotional before we began the pull. the woman that gave the devotional talked about strengthen in doing the small things and how all of those small things add up. she gave us a bracelet as a reminder and told us that we can do hard things. she said a lot of great things in her devotional but the one thing that stood out to me most was when she said she prayed that each young woman there would find an eternal companion that loves them as much as her husband loves her. tears streamed down my face because i have the same prayer for each of these young women. i want every woman to have an eternal companion that loves them as much as gordon loves me. it hit me so strongly how blessed i am to have such an amazing man in my life...forever.
the women's pull was rough. we had three girls in the front, and four girls in the back. for one mile uphill we pushed and pulled with everything we had. we were told than when we got discouraged because we were still so far away from the ending point, to look down, put all your strength into what you can do right now, and keep moving forward. i loved that. i think about this word of wisdom often and how i can apply that into my day to day life. we successfully made it to the top of the hill. all the men were lined on the sides, hats removed, in silence, as each of our carts reach the top. once everyone arrived to the top the women sang 'as sisters in zion' followed by all of us singing 'because i have been given much'. pioneer women were strong. in all aspects of their being. i am blessed to have witnessed what i did...so i know this is true.
we ate dinner in our individual families that night. after dinner we had a fireside. our stake leaders bore their testimonies. then we had the opportunity to split into our individual families again and have a family testimony meeting. i love hearing my husband bare his testimony. he took the responsibility of father and bore his first. he is one strong man. and i love him dearly. almost everyone in our family bore their testimony. those kids of mine...they have testimonies that will strengthen the world! we also had the chance to share with them items out of our talent jar. we had a talent jar on our handcart that we asked the kids to write down talents or gifts that they saw in their families members. gordon and i were worried that we weren't going to have very many to read off. that was not the case. we had a ton! everyone had multiple great talents to be recognized. the kids even included gordon and me in this. they were so thoughtful. tonight's family time was my favorite part of trek.
day three: final day to pull the cart. we were told the terrain wasn't as bad as previous days. that was a lie. lots of rolling hills. going downhill was just as hard as going up. one of our daughters was disabled and about halfway through trek she told us that she was too tired and couldn't walk anymore. it was suggested that we put her on our cart and pull her the rest of the way. our cart was so heavy that the idea of this made all of exhausted. but we were prepared to do when gordon said that he would help walk with this daughter (with the help of one of our aunts). gordon linked arms with her on one side and the aunt linked in on the other. they basically carried her the rest of the way (which was 3 miles). watching gordon sacrifice time spent with all of us to help this young woman was one of the most tender moments i have experienced. he is amazing.
somehow our cart seemed heavier day three. every hill we went up and down took great effort. but when we saw the end all of our zest came out. we ran! (it was against the rules to run with the handcart but i let our family break this rule...) each of us were invigorated to finish and finish strong. as soon as we were done we went back to wait for the rest of our family to join. sure enough, there they were. we cheered them in! what a great "last moment" as a family.
to welcome us home, we had a parade (not my favorite part of trek). lots of family and friends were in attendance welcoming us home. our kids were so happy to see their real families again. lots of hugs and stories were told.
i hope i don't have to go on trek again anytime soon, but i would go back and re-do our trek adventure if i had to in a heartbeat.
thank you pioneers, for your dedication and strength. your legacy remains strong.
the next several months we didn't really think much about going. and when we did, neither of us were excited.
gordon had back surgery and we thought this might be our way out. however, gordon was blessed and he healed so quickly that we searched for another way out, unsuccessfully.
our trek dates were july 5, 6, 7... ruining our fourth of july holiday.
negative thoughts were all i could think when i thought about trek. i was just barely old enough that when they started doing them i was out of the youth program. gordon went when he was a youth (yes he's a bit younger than me...). his experience included his parents dying putting him in charge of his family who all left him to pull the handcart alone, so he ditch the handcart (making sure to take his own stuff), and trekked the rest of the way with other families. he doesn't remember having a good time and wasn't too excited to do it all again.
about a week or so before i started preparing the "spiritual stuff" for our trek family.
it all hit me. this was a big deal. and i needed to change my attitude.
i still wasn't extremely thrilled about going, but the more research i did about pioneers, the more i looked forward to dressing up in pioneerish clothes and experiencing a fraction of what they did.
trek was unforgettable. now when i think about trek all my thoughts are positive.
our kids...amazing. unbelievable. strong (both physically and spiritually). did not complain. helped always. and have testimonies of our church that would strengthen the world.
the youth of today are meant to be here at this time. i know this is true. they are strong, unwavering, and smart. they know who they are. they know what they need to do. they are leaders.
now, for some trek stories!
day one: our kids wanted to run with the handcarts. it was like they wanted to see how fast they could get to camp. we pulled/pushed a handcart loaded with 15 buckets (all of our belongs for the next few days), one large food cooler, and two large water coolers trekked 7 miles in less than 4 hours. the rain only made us go faster and pull harder. when we reached camp (a few hours before we were due to arrive), most of the tents were set up (spoiled, i know) and dinner was cooking (at 2 in the afternoon!). we ate before 4pm, then had a lot of time on our hands. the rain decided to cease and the sun started shining. we dried out the best we could and put on our dancing shoes (not literally...we only had a bucket for all of our stuff!). gordon and i did not dance. gordon doesn't dance (we've danced one time together at my friend's wedding). when asked why weren't dancing, gordon said he only dances naked (as told to say by our bishop!). after dancing we had "family time". we played pioneer games, and few more modern ones (like ninja...yeah i hadn't heard of it either, but it was fun!). after games gordon told our family about his great great great great grandpa, john rowe moyle, we bore our testimony, had family prayer, then told the kids to go to bed. it was still light outside (arriving to camp early really threw us off). gordon and i were tired, but were pretty sure our kids stayed up late.
day two: live trumpet music woke us up this morning. first thing we saw when we popped our heads out of our tent: FOG! i was a bit discouraged at the idea of bad weather presenting itself again. and the mystery meat in the breakfast burritos didn't help my mood (lucky for me, our old bishop was the main chef and made sure there were meatless alternatives for me...score!). but once we started trekking, my mood changed. i realized i was the example and if i wasn't excited to push our handcart, our kids will see that and they won't be excited. today was our longest trek day, with us pushing for 11 miles. the terrain was a bit more hilly than the day before. and once the sun came out, it was hot! we had lots of breaks where we were told to stay hydrated and eat snacks. all of our kids stayed hydrated, and no one ever went hungry. the last mile of today was the women's pull (maybe this is why i was in a bad mood. i had heard stories of how hard that was and was not looking forward to it). at the bottom of the largest, steepest hill was when the men left us and we had to pull our handcarts with just women in our families. i had anticipated this event since we were asked to go on trek. i knew it was going to be hard. and then once on trek and seeing how difficult pulling our handcart was (and we had 10 people pulling constantly!) i was even more nervous for this to go down. we had a women's devotional before we began the pull. the woman that gave the devotional talked about strengthen in doing the small things and how all of those small things add up. she gave us a bracelet as a reminder and told us that we can do hard things. she said a lot of great things in her devotional but the one thing that stood out to me most was when she said she prayed that each young woman there would find an eternal companion that loves them as much as her husband loves her. tears streamed down my face because i have the same prayer for each of these young women. i want every woman to have an eternal companion that loves them as much as gordon loves me. it hit me so strongly how blessed i am to have such an amazing man in my life...forever.
the women's pull was rough. we had three girls in the front, and four girls in the back. for one mile uphill we pushed and pulled with everything we had. we were told than when we got discouraged because we were still so far away from the ending point, to look down, put all your strength into what you can do right now, and keep moving forward. i loved that. i think about this word of wisdom often and how i can apply that into my day to day life. we successfully made it to the top of the hill. all the men were lined on the sides, hats removed, in silence, as each of our carts reach the top. once everyone arrived to the top the women sang 'as sisters in zion' followed by all of us singing 'because i have been given much'. pioneer women were strong. in all aspects of their being. i am blessed to have witnessed what i did...so i know this is true.
we ate dinner in our individual families that night. after dinner we had a fireside. our stake leaders bore their testimonies. then we had the opportunity to split into our individual families again and have a family testimony meeting. i love hearing my husband bare his testimony. he took the responsibility of father and bore his first. he is one strong man. and i love him dearly. almost everyone in our family bore their testimony. those kids of mine...they have testimonies that will strengthen the world! we also had the chance to share with them items out of our talent jar. we had a talent jar on our handcart that we asked the kids to write down talents or gifts that they saw in their families members. gordon and i were worried that we weren't going to have very many to read off. that was not the case. we had a ton! everyone had multiple great talents to be recognized. the kids even included gordon and me in this. they were so thoughtful. tonight's family time was my favorite part of trek.
day three: final day to pull the cart. we were told the terrain wasn't as bad as previous days. that was a lie. lots of rolling hills. going downhill was just as hard as going up. one of our daughters was disabled and about halfway through trek she told us that she was too tired and couldn't walk anymore. it was suggested that we put her on our cart and pull her the rest of the way. our cart was so heavy that the idea of this made all of exhausted. but we were prepared to do when gordon said that he would help walk with this daughter (with the help of one of our aunts). gordon linked arms with her on one side and the aunt linked in on the other. they basically carried her the rest of the way (which was 3 miles). watching gordon sacrifice time spent with all of us to help this young woman was one of the most tender moments i have experienced. he is amazing.
somehow our cart seemed heavier day three. every hill we went up and down took great effort. but when we saw the end all of our zest came out. we ran! (it was against the rules to run with the handcart but i let our family break this rule...) each of us were invigorated to finish and finish strong. as soon as we were done we went back to wait for the rest of our family to join. sure enough, there they were. we cheered them in! what a great "last moment" as a family.
to welcome us home, we had a parade (not my favorite part of trek). lots of family and friends were in attendance welcoming us home. our kids were so happy to see their real families again. lots of hugs and stories were told.
i hope i don't have to go on trek again anytime soon, but i would go back and re-do our trek adventure if i had to in a heartbeat.
thank you pioneers, for your dedication and strength. your legacy remains strong.
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