you are not alone in this

"and you are not alone in this, and you are not alone in this. as brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand...hold your hand." mumford and sons - timshel

i talked to my brother on the phone on sunday.  he wanted me to know how sorry he is for the grief he has caused and is causing his family...me.  he told me how much he loved his family.  and then he told me how much he loved me.  he said "i love you jess".  i told him i loved him very much.  and that i pray for him daily.  and put his name in the temple prayer box each time i go.  he thanked me.  and said it was nice to know i had his back.

this was the first time we had ever told each other we loved each other.  he's 35 and i'm 27.  it was a day i will never forget.  words i never thought i needed to hear from him i realized i needed to hear my whole life.  i'm glad we didn't go any longer without letting each other know how much we care about each other.

he continues to struggle with his addiction.  but where he is now is helping him.  he's attends AA and NA faithfully.  and as equally important he attends a weekly lds institute class.  he told me that once he gets his life straighten out he wanted his life to be filled with work and church.  i told him he should ask to be the relief society president.

i love my brother very much.  i know that if he does his part to do what is right the lord will lift him up and make his burdens light.  i pray that this is the last time he has to go through what he is going through.  and he becomes the man we all know he can be.  for his family.  my mom. my dad. and most importantly his daughter.