you are not alone in this

"and you are not alone in this, and you are not alone in this. as brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand...hold your hand." mumford and sons - timshel

i talked to my brother on the phone on sunday.  he wanted me to know how sorry he is for the grief he has caused and is causing his family...me.  he told me how much he loved his family.  and then he told me how much he loved me.  he said "i love you jess".  i told him i loved him very much.  and that i pray for him daily.  and put his name in the temple prayer box each time i go.  he thanked me.  and said it was nice to know i had his back.

this was the first time we had ever told each other we loved each other.  he's 35 and i'm 27.  it was a day i will never forget.  words i never thought i needed to hear from him i realized i needed to hear my whole life.  i'm glad we didn't go any longer without letting each other know how much we care about each other.

he continues to struggle with his addiction.  but where he is now is helping him.  he's attends AA and NA faithfully.  and as equally important he attends a weekly lds institute class.  he told me that once he gets his life straighten out he wanted his life to be filled with work and church.  i told him he should ask to be the relief society president.

i love my brother very much.  i know that if he does his part to do what is right the lord will lift him up and make his burdens light.  i pray that this is the last time he has to go through what he is going through.  and he becomes the man we all know he can be.  for his family.  my mom. my dad. and most importantly his daughter.

it's always nice to getaway

to celebrate my birthday...

white chocolate banana cream cake from vintage tea room...mouth watering!

hang out on the beach with family...

ride our bikes into town for milk shakes...

have a taco night (my sister and i even cooked!)...

spend a week without any outside duties calling for me...

aw, i love bear lake.

the weekend

went to the farmer's market with my sister.  if you go this year find the guy selling the fresh mint limeade...it is one of the best drinks i've ever had!  and the guy is super nice so show your support.

spent time with my dad at a raptor's game (rain or shine, they still play).

and had sunday dinner with my family.  my mom got fancy and grilled peaches with other fresh fruit for dessert.  i love fruit for dessert.

another wonderful weekend spent with the people i love most.

i hope i feel more like this more often

i have struggled with this new service calling i have been given. i do not always want to be who they want me to be. i do not always want the great responsibility that has been given to me. i do not always want to serve others. and i do not always want to have my days full of everyone else's problems.

but yesterday was wonderful. i wanted to be the person i should be. i wanted to have the responsibility that i have been given. i wanted to serve others. and i didn't care that i was listening to someone else’s problems. i wanted to. i wanted to help. i wanted to be a friend. i wanted to learn more about them to help them.

i hope i have more days like yesterday. and that i remember days like that so when i have the attitude that "i hate this", "this isn't for me" and "i'm quitting" i can remember the way i felt yesterday and know what i am doing is right. and that i like it.

dinner at the flint's

we played games. had a talent show. and just enjoyed family time together.


oh i'm kidding.


my in-laws were out of town so what was normally their turn in the rotation of sunday dinners, jodi and trevor offered to host it at their house. we did the normal stuff: eat, talk, and have the little man and baby k entertain us.


in the words of the little man "i never knew this could be so fun!" (he's two and three fourths and adorable. he said this while he was jumping on jodi's neighbor's trampoline and climbing all over their playground. later he cooled off in the sprinklers and did fireworks aka sparklers).
 

i had a birthday.

it was lovely.  i received so many kind text messages, phone calls, and birthday cards that i feel overwhelmed with gratitude for my amazing family and friends.  i was surprised with fun gifts from my husband, who always out does everything and knows exactly how to make this girl feel special.  i love birthdays.

our fourth of july

we hung out with family the week previous and then had bbq's and family dinners over the weekend, so our fourth was free!  we hung out, just us two.  did some yard work, went grocery shopping, ate homemade personal pizzas for dinner, watch a new tv series on netflix that were addicted to (shamefully), and ate some of mel's delicious caramelized banana ice cream for dessert.  right before bed we stepped outside on our front porch to watch all of our neighbors’ fireworks.  it was one of my favorite fourth of july's to date.